Are you happy?


Happiness can only be so much. But what we all agree on is that the word HAPPINESS and the designation is something good and loving. When you ask yourself this question: “What is happiness? ” and “Am I happy?” It all depends on what you define as happiness and where you think you find it. It can be as simple as in materialistic things, such as a big house, nice car, lots of money and a good career job… But is this quite honestly what makes you happy? I do not believe. Most people want something other than what they have, simply because they do not feel happy and many have not allowed themselves to take the step to become so. This can change, and it’s never too late! Do you have everything you want? Do you have the free time, friends, job and freedom you most want? Do you have inner peace and can go to bed with a good and balanced heart? Knowing that you have been greatly appreciated and respected for what you have accomplished and the person you have been that day?

What prevents you from living the life you want with the people and values you want? This is where the work towards happiness begins. By looking at what limits us, why we talk ourselves down, why we are stuck in something that does not develop towards happiness, but rather the opposite.

We all have many lifelong runs of trauma that haunt us, trigger us even when we are at our most vulnerable. An automatic reflex in us means that we most likely act in defence, we get angry, upset and frustrated. Sometimes the experiences we encounter are so strong that we cannot even relate to them. We “hide” them in the deepest emotional chambers we have. When we have done this for a long time and the “triggers” grow stronger and stronger, more will be undermined in our chambers and create a great imbalance in our own energy and body. We get sick and exhausted. When you then know that you also, without choosing it, also inherit feelings and traumas from generations behind us that are in our DNA, it means that we have a lot to clean up if we have the courage to move ourselves into this journey .

It takes time to break down your walls to tear open your heart and face people and circumstances that trigger you or make you uncomfortable. One must learn to see these aspects with completely new eyes without condemnation, but with acceptance and forgiveness. It will cause you to break with the patterns that keep appearing in your reality that bring suffering. Living within yourself and at the same time outside yourself requires courage to face your demons. This requires both courage and strength.

**I myself have been empty for much of my life and sought happiness in unhealthy things because that’s all I’ve ever known. It takes strength and courage to get out of a dark place, especially when you’ve never understood what happiness was, or understood how to reach it. Now I have seen that happiness is not something you have. It’s not something you work on. It’s not something you have to feel worthy of. It’s not something you acquire, it’s not even something to “go after..”

It will come naturally when you allow all aspects to come to the surface. Accept that they are there and accept them joyfully as a learning and part of you, instead of seeing it as something you have to fight and fight against and that leaves you in sadness or anger. It takes a radical honesty with yourself to see the things in yourself that you don’t like and requires you to visit painful memories and experiences you always tried to run from. It requires learning, healing, being, creating, nurturing and loving yourself in all the areas you feel vulnerable. It takes complete presence of yourself to be fully in the moment and to embrace what you feel.

Happiness is found by deconstructing every idea, belief, habit, opinion, preference and judgment that brings unhappiness. Learning to unlearn something about how things should be, expecting it to be, what you want it to be. Happiness is all around you if you stop doing things like before, like putting your happiness in other people’s pockets, ensuring other people’s pleasure, worrying about what other people think, engaging in arguments that never get resolved, and giving your power away.**

It takes time to invest in yourself to gain new tools to make you stronger instead of wishing life would be easier. You will find what sets your soul on fire and will follow your joy despite what others say or believe. It takes time to appreciate who you are, and validate yourself, acknowledge yourself, do things that are special according to what you want.

No, happiness is not found in the things you have, or the things you do, or the life you live. Happiness is found in BECOMING WHO YOU ARE. You cannot create another life with the same mind and heart that created the chaos and suffering. When you continue to live your life chasing happiness you will always live in a state of lack. Happiness is abundant when you confront all the things that make you unhappy and have the courage to fix them. Only with self-love and commitment to getting better, living with the highest honesty to yourself, will you ever find the courage to live a life from the inside out. You can only find peace in the things you can accept. And if you’re most comfortable just floating in the waves, you’ll never learn to swim…